When Food Kills

I read the most devastating story this morning. A 3, almost 4, year old boy died while doing a food challenge. He had multiple food allergies, including dairy. While he was at a children's hospital he tried food with baked dairy to see if his body could tolerate it. This is a normal part of food allergies. Being able to tolerate a food that is extensively baked can widen a person's diet. Except he didn't tolerate it and being at a hospital didn't save him. They couldn't save him and now he is gone. Just because I carry around an epi-pen and am prepared to use it, doesn't mean it will work. This news today is a sobering reminder of what food allergies really mean.

We have done baked challenges, but in the home, at the advisement of our doctor. My child is allergic to eggs and peanuts, and after a pediatrician accidentally gave our child a vaccine that was cultured in egg, we, the allergist and myself, decided to try baked egg. Thankfully we have been without incident, but we are just lucky. We are lucky.

I humbly admit that I used to be one of those people that wondered why an entire school had to be peanut free. I was blind. I didn't understand that food, our most basic need, could cause someone to die. I was slapped in the face when my 7 month old broke out in hives from a bite of scrambled egg. I might as well have had a bucket of water thrown over my head when she tested positive to peanuts. Now my child is the one that will be the reason for no nuts in a school. My child will be the reason you can't pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a lunch box.

What does all this mean? Why are children allergic? Is it because I am a helicopter mom and sanitize my children too  much? I can assure you that is not the case. I grew up in the country, bare feet and all. I dug in the dirt, I played with chickens, and climbed trees. My children get dirty and I don't even always give them a bath every day. I try and make them wash their hands before they eat, but darn it if I forget sometimes. My family does not live in a sterile environment and yet my child has food allergies.

The fact is, she was born with them. From day one my daughter has had issues with tolerating foods. For the first 9 months of her life I, a breast feeding mom, had to completely eliminate dairy from my diet because if I had one bite of BAKED dairy she would projectile vomit. Thankfully she outgrew this allergy/intolerance, but she still can't stand the taste of milk or cheese. Is this her bodies way of rejecting something that isn't good for her?

Eczema has also been an issue since day one. I used to have to cut the toe out of socks and put them on her elbows because the insides of her arms would be puss and blood from the sores. Nothing I did seemed to help. She itched and scratched and her arms were always raw. No cream, no soap, no amount of humidifiers could take that away. It never went away until I eliminated peanuts from our diets. Yes, my daughter has never had a bite of peanut butter, but I used to eat it every day. Peanut butter and apples was my go to snack. Breastfeeding mamas are always hungry and peanut butter was my protein of choice. The day I found out she was allergic I stopped eating it and within a week those sore on my baby were gone! She was reacting to the trace amount of peanuts that had gotten into my milk.

The guilt I felt was immeasurable. Did I do this? Did my love for peanut butter cause her to have this vicious thing? The answer is no. I know that. But I cannot help but to feel responsible. I came home that day and scoured the Internet. I joined Facebook groups and read journals. The comment section drove a knife into my already bleeding heart. Here are some things I read.

"Those crunchy parents did this to their children with their whole food diets and over sanitizing."
"This clearly is the result of helicopter parenting"
"Let your kid roll in the dirt and maybe they won't be so sensitive"
"It's clearly this millennial generation that has issues with their kids"

And the worst one of all. . .

"Maybe we aren't all meant to survive"

Wow. Remembering those comments still gets my blood boiling. How can people be so mean? How can people be so insensitive? Things need to change.

I've been trying my hardest to raise awareness for food allergies ever since. We need to start young. Even if you don't have food allergies in your home could you please take a moment to talk to your kids? Can you tell them that sometimes people can't have certain foods and if they have that food it could hurt them really badly? Can you ask them to be kind when another kid has a food allergy because that kid might be embarrassed? Can you ask your kid to stand up for kids that have food allergies? Can you talk with your kids about alternatives to PB&J and instead of showing your frustration for having to find that alternative, can you instead show your compassion?

My heart goes out to the family of that 3, almost 4, year old boy. I cannot begin to fathom their pain. But I am reminded that what killed their son, could kill my daughter and that punches me in the gut.

Click here to read more about this little boy from Alabama and see his cute little face.